Shoes and Loathing in Las Vegas

Fred and I were staying in downtown Vegas.  We were hanging out with Mary P and her boyfriend Jimmy.  Jimmy was the Mirage's "private club" Mandalay Bay Foundation Room's executive chef <<thanks for the correction Mary P>>.   He had accumulated a ton of food and beverage comps so he offered to treat Fred and I to the meal of our life.  I was really excited to get my "gourmet" on so Jimmy booked us a table for that nite.

Cabbage and I left Fremont Street and headed to Mandalay Bay.  At Mandalay Bay we strolled up to the velvet rope of the club's private-elevator.  The bouncer at the rope checked us off the guest list.  As we got on the elevator the bouncer looked at Fred's shoes and said; "I can't let you up in those..."  (Cabbage was wearing a worn out pair of sneakers).  The bouncer said; "Go change your shoes and I'll let you up."

There was no way I was missing out on my gourmet-grub-fest so I said; "C'mon let's run back downtown and change shoes."  Fred said; "These are the only shoes I brought..."  Dejected, I grumbled as we walked away from the elevator, taking a turn down the retail hall I spotted some men's penny loafers in one of the boutique windows.  We went into the shop - the shoes where $300 and a size too small.  Fred said "no way I'm paying $300 for a pair of shoes..."  I told him; "...I don't care, I'm ready to get my foodie on!"  We bickered back and forth as we walked out of the shop and onto the casino floor. 

"Don't you own any decent shoes?"

"No, and I'm not paying $300 for a pair of shoes I'll only wear once!"

"You'll need a pair of dress shoes, just buy 'em!"

"They don't fit!"

"Buy them! We're gonna eat and drink for free!  Probably more than the cost of the shoes - we'll break even!"

As we argued we found ourselves standing in front of a roulette table.  Standing there, our only course of action became clear - we'd have to gamble for the shoes.  So we dumped our cash onto the roulette table, either we'd buy the shoes with the winnings or return to Fremont Street empty handed.

Fred said "What color should we bet on?"

I said "I dunno"

Fred said "Put it all on black!"

The wheel spun ...(Fred was always the luckiest guy in the casino) ...and black hit, of course.  After the payout we immediately bought the shoes.  Fred bagged up his old shoes and handed them to the bouncer saying; "hang on to these, I'll pick them up when we come back down"

The meal was incredible, the view from the club was spectacular.

As we looked out over the lights of Vegas we toasted our new motto ..."Always bet on black"
-Neville